Nachdem die Niederländer ein satirisches Bewerbungsvideo gedreht haben um „America first / Netherlands second“ zu machen, hat das Neo Magazin Royale ein weiteres Bewerbungsvideo für Deutschland gemacht.
Es gibt nun ein Battle über alle europäischen Länder, die **** second sein wollen. Alle Videos findet man dann hier.
Das Bewerbungsvideo der Niederländer:
Und hier das Bewerbungsvideo der Deutschen:
Und falls einer einer das tatsächlich ernst nimmt: Das ist Satire!
Run. Don’t run. Walk. It’s better. Don’t walk in the mornings, there’s too much smog in the air. Walking in the evenings isn’t good for digestion and there must be at least a 3 hour gap between walking and bedtime. Play. But don’t play impact sports. Those would cause permanent damage to your knees and joints. Swim. But remember the water in most pools are not clean and will lead to skin damage.
In any case, exercise does not really matter. Your diet does. Breakfast, like a King, lunch like a prince and dinner like a pauper. That’s bullshit. Eat 5 times a day in small equal quantities. No. Focus on proteins. Eat white meat, avoid red meat. Eat only fish. Eat only chicken. Eat only eggs. make that only the egg white. That’s a recipe for high cholesterol! Eat only fruits, veggies. Eat only leafy veggies. don’t eat leafy veggies because they have worm eggs in them. Avoid other veggies they have high carbs and lead to gas attacks. Eat that ugly looking Brazilian jungle vegetable, it cures cancer. No avoid it! it leads to impotence. Stick to fruits but avoid the skin. No eat only the skin, they’re rich in proteins. But don’t eat the fruits which have red seeds they are poisonous and green fruits should be avoided if they were purple flowers.
Drink milk. But not buffalo milk, drink cows milk. But make it skimmed. No skimmed is processed, drink goat milk no camel milk. Don’t drink milk!the body cannot digest milk after the age of three. Drink mother’s milk? only till three.
Drink? Water. But not from the tap. Mineral water. Which is tap water only dirtier. No only water from the Alps. Drinking is good. Small quantity of alcohol helps keep the arteries from clogging. But drink only wine. Red wine. but only with white meat. But now since no white meat there can’t be no wine. Drink only coffee and tea. No they cause damage over the long run. Drink green tea. No it causes prostrate problems.
Don’t smoke! it causes cancer. Smoke cigars less tar. Beedis are better. But cause ulcer. Smoking up is best. Pot is bad. It is medicine. Yogis smoke up. Yogi’s go nowhere. Breathing the air in any city is equivalent to smoking 20 cigarettes.
Welcome to the age of information. You are now better informed about every aspect of your health and can take informed decisions about leading a healthier, happier and emotionally stable life.
Und es stimmt wirklich. Wir wissen heute soviel und alles führt dann letztendlich doch wieder zu Widersprüchen und Angst.